12 Ways to Sabotage Your Start

At one time or another I have tried all of these, and they really do ensure a lousy start with a great view of lots of transoms.

1. Never practice
2. Don’t bring a watch
3. Bring a watch that is so hard to set you only get it set at the 1 minute signal
4. Ignore winds shifts, particularly lefties that crush you if you’re not up on the line
5. Try the “squirrel” start in a good fleet (see Tillerman's Dead Squirrel)
6. Start on port on a short line with a good fleet
7. Start next to the best guy in the fleet so you can admire his technique as he squirts out under you or rolls you
8. Try to win the boat to show those 10 other guys trying to win the boat that you are better than they are
9. Try to “come in with speed” from behind a wall of luffing sails and disturbed air only to learn the there is no speed in disturbed air
10. Luff the boat to windward, create a giant hole to leeward, and have the best guy in the fleet come in on port tack to fill the hole on your lee bow
11. Be the first to get to the line, luff, stall, and then, while going backward, try to accelerate with 1 second to go
12. Be the OCS boat at the committee boat that blocks the view of the other OCS boats who then avoid being called back